SUSPICION

I am beginning to think that some people actually know that it was me. Last night I went to the Akintunde Ojo Library – which is an open air library that students can read in, to read for my upcoming tests in peace, or so I thought. One guy walked up to me, and started the usual scenario I hate so much.

“Hi,” he began. “You look kind of familiar.”

And I know that I am supposed to play along and help try to remember where we must have met, never mind that most often the two people are total strangers, but the discussion would have reached the point where it would only seem natural to exchange names, and maybe numbers. I didn’t have the time though. I needed to read for three tests next week, which was why I went there instead of my usual place where my classmates can locate me.

“I don’t think so.” I said, and looked back at my book. Let me confess, the instant load of guilt that burst in me at being so rude was enough to make me look back up at the guy’s retreating back to apologize. But he was still standing there.

“I’m Bolaji,” he said instead. “I’m a year three student in Law, and I think I know who you are.”
“Really,” was all I could say, my heart thumping with the fear that I was found out.
“Yes,” he emphasized. “You are related to Lolade Adesola aren’t you?”
I almost breathed out a sigh in relief. “Yes I am.”
“May I sit down with you?” he asked.
Uh oh.

“The seat is already taken,” I replied quickly. “The guy there said he’ll be back soon.”
“Ok,” Bolaji said. “I just wanted to catch up on my buddy. How is Lolade doing?”
“She’s fine,” I replied with a smile. “She’s doing really great. I’ll tell her you asked after her, er….”

He helped me with the name, and I made a mental note to write it down the minute he walked away. He asked after my name and then said he would see me around.

Ten minutes after he’d walked off, I was still staring into space. What would I have done if he’d announced that I was the swimmer, right there in about 50 people’s earshot? I asked myself.

What with the $200 dollar gift for anyone with information on the …’the swimmer girl’ that everyone was searching for. I don’t know why the press and media generally would not let the story die.
I mean, what did it matter? The whole crew that came for that concert, including the children where back in the States where they belonged. It was over a month ago now, but the story keeps cropping up, especially when some people made claims and were proven wrong.

The funniest one was the man that swept the lagoon front. He said that he’d been transformed into a fish and had saved the children, then disappeared. He said the swimmer girl had been him, and he’d had to use a big cloth to cover his fins from view when he returned (thus explaining the grey area of the swimmer girl dressing up and walking away). Of course there had been eye witnesses that saw the contours on the girls body identifying her as female, and even saw her dripping hair, and feminine slippers.

What finally killed his assertion was the fact that some one he had had an argument with at the same time, at the other end of the lagoon front, came forward to testify. That killed his $1000 dreams.

I didn’t want to come forward because of many reasons.

One. I knew that I would be asked to give a statement, and my mother was not supposed to know I had been swimming. In fact she used the incident to warn me from going to the pool afterwards, and you should have heard her go on and on about how even American children didn’t know how to swim, and who was I to feel that I could. I made a promise to her not to swim about six months ago, and if she found out that I had broken my word I would be in trouble, serious trouble.

Two. It would be a highly publicized event, which meant that my face would be pasted all over the news network, and in the papers, and my name would be right beside each picture. If you are a Nigerian, you will understand that by doing that, you have just signed your death warrant. Your whole family will never be safe anymore. In Nigeria we have so many intelligent people, but some use their God – given brilliance for other things besides creating brilliant small companies with giant concepts that would grow the Nigerian economy. It’s a thing of ease to trace people’s backgrounds, whereabouts and families in Nigeria. And there is no such thing as witness protection program like in the States. And don’t tell me that I can give conditions that my identity not be shared with the press or any other person.
My guy, this is Nigeria. Wake up and smell the coffee – there is no such thing as secrecy here.

Three. What about my school grades? Those terrible lecturers would just have another load of ammunition against me. Taunts like ‘Instead of reading her books she is swimming across the Atlantic.’ ‘Stupid girl’. ‘Let me see how she will do well in her academics with all the stardom going into her head’ would just be floating around me. It might even backfire and those terrible Physics lecturers that I am currently pleading with to let me check for my exam scripts, will also say the same things.

On the other hand, having $1000 in my bank account is not such a bad idea. All the things we need in the house will be taken care of, and you know that there is no feeling like having money in the bank that wont finish in a long long time. My problem is, that is the ONLY reason for going forward. And I have three reasons for not going forward. Besides, I am not a money – chasing oriented person.

No. It is better this way.
The boys are saved, alive and well. I am alive and safe and well. My family is alive and safe and well. My grades are not affected by any extra sadism from any angle. And I am making progress in the location of my missing results.
God is really in control.